I am concerned. Students tell me they are excited to go to college to make new friends and build relationships. However, when I visit campuses I quickly encounter barriers that squelch impromptu conversations, the basic foundation for making new friends and building relationships. These barriers are everywhere.

Beats by Dre and Apple Airpods

Although research provides substantive evidence that teens are increasingly isolated, depressed, and plagued by anxiety in high school and college, incentives to connect with others in person are decreasing. And while there is no definitive correlation between depression and screen time, social media, smartphones, Netflix binging, video games, or earbuds, the temptation exists to suggest that one of them—or a combination—is an 800 lb. gorilla. But that is not what this post is about.

I tell students (and parents) that the best way to really discover a school is to visit the campus and talk to students, professors, campus police, groundskeepers, and local police. Each of these unique groups provides invaluable and nuanced information about the school’s students and culture. Unfortunately, a quickly growing number of students—the best source of current school culture—walk across campus, through buildings, in bathrooms (I wish I was kidding), and even in classrooms with earphones or earbuds firmly in place. Students with earbuds are, by design, much less aware of their surroundings and other people and rarely take time to initiate a conversation. Consequently, earphones and earbuds dramatically decrease opportunities to meet people and build relationships, the very reasons students attend college. More importantly, earphones don’t just decrease socialization, they increase isolation, one of the most commonly referenced indicators of teen depression.

Sometimes, however, isolation is what earphone users are seeking. Research on earbuds/earphones and productivity is not conclusive; however, some intentionally use them as a very effective barrier to social interaction. While earphones may be used as a social shield to interaction, most people are polite and do not like to intrude, impose, or disturb others. This is especially true when someone indicates they are engaged, and headphones provide that indicator, intentionally or not. This creates an interesting social dilemma.

While the proliferation of personal music/content devices and earphones or earbuds is relatively new the social expectation surrounding their use is still evolving, but not as fast as sales. Increasing content and better technology are driving sales upward, rapidly. In the meantime, increasing social anxiety, depression, and suicide on college campuses suggest we are not socially, culturally, or psychologically prepared for the isolation students are experiencing.

The current digitally connected and socially unprepared generation of high school graduates is eagerly heading to college, ready to meet people, build relationships, and grow as individuals. But maybe they should leave the earbuds out for a bit. Be brave. Practice conversational skills to build the relationships they crave. Research shows strong, lasting relationships are directly linked to physical and mental health indicators like anxiety and depression. And if the Harvard Grant Study is right, if we want to increase happiness, health, and longevity, taking out the earbuds and learning to cultivate deep and meaningful relationships might be a great place to start.

For more on the recent behavioral and cultural trends among teens, I recommend iGen, by Dr. Jean M. Twenge.