A Personal Statement vs. The L.A. Essay: A Tale of Two Stories

by Mark Hofer

A Personal Statement vs. The L.A. Essay: A Tale of Two Stories

by Mark Hofer

by Mark Hofer

The College Application Personal Statement. How hard can it be? Given a rather open-ended prompt, just combine 650 words of highly illuminating and vulnerable statements to provide unmistakable evidence of your maturity, reflection and potential for college. Okay, maybe it isn’t that easy. However, this daunting task can be made even more difficult – and stressful – if students have the well-meaning guidance of too many cooks in the kitchen.

Okay, let’s just get it out there. A college application personal statement is not a language arts essay. They can be similar tasks, but they ultimately serve two very different purposes. For example, you can use a screwdriver to pound a nail, but if you know a hammer is the right tool, shouldn’t you use it? The misunderstanding usually stems from not knowing the real – and often changing – requirements of the task.

I have spoken to over a hundred college admissions representatives, including Deans and Associate Deans of Admissions. One of the battery of questions I ask is, “What do you want to see in personal statement essays and what are some of the most common mistakes?” The answers to the second question are overwhelmingly similar – the three most common responses include:

“The essay has not been proofed.”

“The statement is not about the author.”

“It is an essay that was generated for an English class.”

The first two mistakes must be owned by the student. However, most driven and accomplished students want to create the best, most competitive, personal statement essay possible. These are the same students who have been highly successful playing the grade game – providing work that specifically mirrors and meets the expectations of teachers. For this same reason, students assume that an essay written for a Language Arts teacher’s “College Essay” assignment that receives an “A” is going to be competitive as a college personal statement essay. Based on my understanding from conversations with college admissions representatives, this is not often the case.

I bow down to the teachers in the classroom trenches; I have been there. For those who have researched the criteria with which colleges evaluate the personal statement essay and then guide students to think and master those characteristic components, I genuflect in your direction and celebrate your commitment. Your students’ essays will likely be very competitive. And when students are blessed to have such guidance, their essays shine, brightly. The unfortunate student is one who is provided very different guidance and unfortunately follows the grade.

It is important to acknowledge that there are shared characteristics of traditional academic and personal statement essays: clear, concise and cogent – providing a strong opening, conclusion and body of supporting examples. However, it is equally important to acknowledge there are also many differences, specifically: intent and purpose.

One thing that the personal statement should not be is a traditional – or rather, conventional – essay. It should not be an APA, MLA, Chicago, Oxford, Harvard, three-part or five-part format essay. The college application essay is a story. It is a personal statement that revolves around a central theme, provides evidence of growth, reflection and different facets of maturity, and hopefully, a perspective about the future. If the essay also provides evidence of English prowess as well as creativity and thoughtful construction, it will serve the student’s application well. The most competitive essays will also provide elements such as humor, unique and thoughtful twists, relevance and intriguing composition. The best personal statements often parallel a hero’s journey and evoke empathy. The structure of the essay can take many forms but rarely, if ever, follows any standard academic format.

A difficult situation arises when an educational consultant has discussed these unique characteristics with admissions representatives and wants to support the well-meaning work of teachers, but knows that work does not support the ultimate needs of the student. This puts a student in an awkward and stressful position: get the grade, be competitive, or write two different essays.

Writing a compelling and competitive college personal statement essay is definitely not easy. When I work with a student the average number of drafts cycles is six or seven before a final proofed draft is generated. Those draft cycles do not include the foundational conversations about powerful themes, personal mission, mission alignment with schools and reflection. Very few academic essay formats provide the purpose or latitude for these things, which are critical for a competitive college application personal statement. With such a high pressure and critical task, it is crucial that students are provided a clear target for success and the support and guidance to reach it.

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